really random

Now that we are all stuck at our house, many wonderful things should have happened. to start with, I should have finished writing my book, but I didn't. rather, whilst away my time doing nothing and playing video games. or maybe listening to podcasts, which can still be considered a good habit, maybe productive even. but that's about it. I have no valid reason to complain that I don't get time for myself to concentrate on my writing career. I do, as I can see here. and what have I done with it? I have precious nothing to show really.

so, the oversimplified answer is that I don't have it in me to become a writer, I was never a writer material, but simply a statistician who thought himself as a great mathemetician. my apologies to statisticians here, but I sheltered behind the oft-used expression that you guys are all too familiar with I am sure.

but it is not that I still don't have an alibi left. working from home doesn't mean that I am working less. my writing assignments continue like before, I am still a journalist, hopefully, will remain throughout the crisis, though I am not very sure. there is nothing sure in life except that my kid is completely dependent on me for now. the responsibility is there for sure, and I shudder thinking what may befall us if I lose my job. of course, lots are losing their jobs, or are staring at it. my salary has been reduced by 20% already. any more, and I am staring at serious asset-liability mismatches. the worst part is that I cannot possibly borrow from my friends to tide over any such mismatches. they have their own deficits running too. it's a shame that we are here in this position, but looking at the earth outside I have started questioning the need for human kinds. everyone I know of, or I see on social networks are questioning whether it was a smart decision by the Creator to introduce human beings in his perfect equation. we have screwed the planet, and if the pandemic finishes most of us, the earth may still get a chance to reboot. but then, that's a temporary fix as I am sure, human beings will fill the gap in just about 30-50 years. still, what a strange thing that we have witnessed in our lifetime. the whole world is locked down. nature wins, every goddamn time.