So, finally I am leaving Bangalore. Heading towards a rather unruly city, they say.
Will I be happy? I have to be. Afterall that’s my decision to leave this cosy-comfy job and opt for a much harder life. No pickups, no drops. Commuting forty kilometers a day in these insane, packed-like-sardines local trains, with the fear of a bomb going off anytime and reduce my much-adored body in pieces of flesh. Stories will not come to me, aha, I have to go and hunt for them.
Am I happy?
You bet, I am.
I know the life is hard there. But isn’t it true that anything easy makes you tired? Wouldn’t Mumbai be an adventure to be remembered? When did I say that I want time for myself?
No, heck no. I don’t want time for myself. I have had so much of time for myself in Bangalore, that I have gone crazy. It’s bloody damn tiring. When I switch off the light, and slip into my blanket, all kinds of thoughts keep crawling in, I go mad.
I want some hustle-bustle, the daily pangs of life that would be enough to make me forget my sad thoughts. I won’t say my life is full of tragedies. But I am a sensitive guy, and for me even a rude rebuke from a person I love is a disaster. I feel so morose. I feel so deserted, so lost.
Let there be harsh life waiting in ambush. I swear I will fight all the demons with defying courage. Yes, I want to fight the daily pangs of life. I want to see the raw life. My idle sadness can’t be more tragic than the life in a metro. Let me see that. And I am sure I will get the courage to laugh at my so-called depression.
And Bangalore is too artificial for my liking.
Yes, I know I will do well in Mumbai. I always perform best when in pressure. I know I will love Mumbai. And if Mumbai likes me, I know I am going to settle there.
I am going to be a Mumbaikar. Good bye Kolkata. Don’t cry for me. I am not coming back.
Goodbye Kolkata. I will come to you once in a while and fill my senses with the sweet fragrance of your bosom. But I will not sleep with you. I have a new lady in life. Mumbai.
41 comments:
i'm sure you'll like bombay...somhow i still call it bombay. it's a great, resilient city...maybe some of its resilience will seep into u. :) but i had thought if you ever looked for a new job, it would be in cal. must say i was very surprised.
trust me sayantani, i was also looking for a job in kolkata. whole-heartedly. but then i appeared for an interview there and realised what is what.
the city is still the same, but i was feeling an outsider. also, i realised, for the first time, how mean the people have become.
may be, i was mean myself so i didn't realise. but now it hurts your eyes.
i didn't like kolkata sayantani. i am not going back. i don't know if mumbai would have been same. if so, may be i will move to europe :)
We struggle against our destiny or else we embrace it. You have chosen the braver alternative. How can we live, unless we accept the hand of Fate as if it is the gift from a loved one?
I love the spontaneous and sure way that you have expressed yourself here.
you swear you will fight all the demons with defying courage. you know very well that there are similar battles that you could have fought in bangalore. anyway. what battle you choose to fight is your choice, you'll always have my best wishes.
hmmm, maybe u shud come to dc :) its a pretty city, people are friendly, streets are spotless...but everyone is so alone. loneliness is something i never feel in cal. but then, to his, his own. hope bombay suits u. u will be missed.
bombay gave me my identity..bombay gave me the strength to be who i am today...bombay taught me how to fight and fight back...
bombay taught me how to love little things..it taught me the value of work..taught me how to travel in a train sticking into people who you know nothing about..
aaah!
But after 10 years it started draining out my spirit..i then learnt that it was payback time -- the city was sucking out my spirit to keep itself going..to give strength to other people who needed to learn a few things...i gave back as much as i could and i gave back in earnest..i put up a fight just like it had taught me to..and when i had nothing more to give i moved away..i dont know if i will ever go back..
I hope the city teaches you somethings..i wish u luck ghetu!
may amchi mumbai embrace you!
ah the ambivalence i feel abt bombay! i love it yet feel i cannot live there. who knows, i change my opinion one of these days. it's good to know i will have another friend in that crazy, multi-hued city. all the very best!
all the best my dear ghetu.i'm sure you will find more people who love and hurt you and someday i hope you stop to love back, and maybe get hurt in the process and not pack up to fight a new battle (elsewhere).
and someday, i hope you come back to bangalore too..for all the artificiality this city (sometimes) has, you have a friend waiting.....God Bless You.
and there will be me to give u company...
My mother may be ugly for others. But, for me she is the most beautiful woman on this earth.
Hope you got the hidden message.
Thats the spirit. And it better be true and not sit there on your blog.
I envy all those Mumbai lovers who got defined by BOMBAY for the reasons Ghetu so nicely summarised.
I really feel so unlucky never to have lived and felt the resilient mumbai spirit. I am so unlucky. I have to do with the Hyderabad. Poor me.
But if Bollywood was not housed in Mumbai. I wonder.
Also...thought I would share these really amazing posts on Bombay...in my opinion no one says it as well as this guy does!
http://bandrawest.blogspot.com/search/label/Bombay
dear friends,
i apologise for answering so late. i was not in a state of mind to answer properly.
vincent,
thanks for vindicating my decision. yes, i have decided to embrace my destiny. no matter what it is. and you know what i am talking about. thanks for your compliment too!
ace,
trust me the battle here would have been different. as a warrior, it's my choice which kind of battle to fight, and i would fight the battle that is more dignified, i need a dignified opponent too and will not fight any square! thanks for your wishes pal. do keep in touch, i will miss you always.
sayantani,
i will miss you too!
dear gypsy,
pray that i get your resilience while staying there. trust me i want to be brave, i want to face the world as it is. and i want to see the raw face of life so that i forget my ugliness! and if i can sustain 10 years there. who cares, i would go back to my dear shillong!
scout,
thanks a lot for your wishes. and yes, i will be there at your service. knock me before you come to mumbai. we will have a party!
preeti-di,
that was touching!
shuv,
i know you will be there. you know why i am not feeling unhappy? 'cause there we can meet quite often. you are one of the characters i would like to hang out with.
anando,
yes, i got your message! and it's pretty unfair on your part to leave me alone before my last day here.
but i guess, you are having a blast in your lazy phursatgunj. enjoy madi!
kaushik,
why blame luck, who has the luck to go often in foreign shores and change the dress and glass and be a new man. i am sure you won;t love mumbai once you in.
gypsy,
thanks for making the transition smooth darling!
Good luck! I moved all the way across my country last November, in search of new challenges and adventures, and I have found both. I am sure you will too.
oh! thanks for your wishes MC!
i hope i would also find a new meaning of life as you did. thanks for giving your example.
Dont expect so much from mumbai/bombay. Personally i think no city is better than the one where person grows up or is born so dont take it so seriously just go thr and have fun. One thing is for sure and that is you will meet a lot of dumb/lost men and WOMEN thr.( I dont know u prefer the one in capitals but i sure do)....wink.
9818771272
Ghetu: I have always loved Bombay - the city and as a traveller only. But I truly think some of those who stay there are vain.
At times I have found some folks trying to overown Bombay. The moment they reach they start talking about the city as if they are trying to seduce the city into liking them.
I also ponder on the need for people to cry out about the never dying spirit of the city. I find that disrespectful for denizens of other cities of India.
And I always wonder if Bombay would have been Bombay if 3 things were never there
1. Bollywood
2. The Stock Exchange
3. The Sea
But so many things would never have been so many things if you start taking things out from them.
I swear I had left a comment here - but I don't see it :( Oh well!! Just to let you know, you've been tagged - like it or not! :)
A dream is a place where a wish and a fear meet. When the wish and fear are exactly the same, we call the dream a nightmare.
-Shantaram
vikas,
i am definitely interested in that later one (wink).
chaila,
saved.
nautilus,
i am even lazier than you. the next post definitely will be that tag thingy, but ... i don;t know when it would come.
20 box,
hope mumbai will not be a nightmare to me! pray.
dear vinod,
welcome!
but why are you interested in stuff that i didn't allow anybody to know? even my best friends here.
kya senti ho rahey ho bhai...itna to ladkiyan bhi nahin nahin aansoo bahatein jitna tum baha rahey ho....toe bangalore is artificial hain....don't be so depressed man..come on
kemon lagche notun shohor
I love the blog title change. People of our ilk - And you are "one" - sometimes have to give back.
where r u putting up in mumbai..?
hahahaha! just saw the masthead change! AWESOME dude...we are all useless to be visiting this now defunct blogspace of urs!!!
ha!ha!..well dear ghetu..that doesn't make u less 'useless'...i guess..
Just noticed the change in the blog title...can't stop laughing!! :D
I definitely am.
Please write a new post - a story or anecdote or anything!
Vincent: Ghetu is Dead! Long live Anup Roy!!
Yaaa U r really useless.
dear anon,
when did i argue that? my sole aim in life is to remain useless.
thanks for confirming that.
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