Saturday, March 08, 2008

excellent!

Someone asked for my blog link today. I coolly told him if I knew how to write I won’t be wasting my time in journalism.

The real reason was of course different. It’s an inferiority complex. My English is the worst one I have ever read or heard. I think in my mother tongue and then literally translate it.

And the friend who guessed I had a blog (cause in office I am always digging someone’s), is a master in English. He speaks and writes ‘perfect’ English. I didn’t want to show him how misfit I am to work for an English publication.

You all know by now how atrocious my grammar is, and I am not ashamed of it to you. My blog readers are my closest friends too! But why invite others for a free rebuke?

It’s not that I don’t know where the language is wrong. But I am too lazy to correct it. Even in my school days I never used to read the exam paper I have written and used to hurry away entrusting the examiner with all the crap. If I would have checked what was there in the paper, I would have at least, at least scored 5 marks more in each paper. But why should I check what I have written once? Honestly, very rarely I read my own posts. About 70% of my posts I never read after I have written and hurriedly posted. Rest 30% … may be I have read them once … not more than that.

My editor (not the newspaper one) insists that I should edit my copies and re-edit it once I finish writing. It would make my stories sharp.

My answer to him: Balls. What are you for?

So I would continue posting without giving a second reading to what I have written. It’s your duty to read and edit in the process. I would like to think writing wrong English is ‘my style’.

Ok… poor defence.

The fact remains that I don’t know English.

I know you would forgive me for that. But I won’t take the risk with a fluent English-speaking chap in my cold office. My boss is there to abuse me everyday, I don’t want bystanders to join the party.

11 comments:

Vincent said...

I like abusing you too! It is surely a harmless hobby. As ever your writing is provocative and as I was halfway through it I started to take your side. "Writing wrong English is Ghetu's style", I thought. And then you said it yourself.

preetim said...

globalisation, my friend, is now localisation too!! don't forget it. so, if a Mac can come up with Maharaja Mac or a Pizza Hut with tikka toppings (paneer/chicken -ur pick) I am sure we can have Ghinghlish-Ghetu's English. So keep writing friend.

20 box said...

hum...

Anonymous said...

hey,
just to let u know i still chk ur blog ;)
scout.

Boodhooram Ignoramus said...

bad English! Ghetunglish! then boodhonglish? blog is the place to write grammar free. you write great!

Ghetufool said...

dear vincent,

don't pamper me!
the school teachers will not forgive you.

dear preeti,
ghinglish is not advisable for the sake of world. but i will continue writing. read at your own risk.

dear 20box,
you understand the gravity of the situation.

dear scout (if you are indeed scout),
i am flattered.

dear bi,
thanks for the two words. but, as i said come to my blog at your own risk.

Shuv said...

one disadvantage though..all your anon comments get caught bcos of the distinct sentence construction..

Shuv said...

why the privacy?

Vincent said...

Why the privacy - I think we shall have to wait and see. It relates to the future rather than the past.

Vincent (Ghetufool's highly-paid PR agent)

Ghetufool said...

why the privacy?

good question. well, i have a sniffing suspicion that my boss reads my blog. but that's not the reason.

the reason now is that i am going to take my blog seriously and want this to be absolutely private.

only my closest friends -- vincent, my PR (though i swear we didn't agree on a price yet, but he is forcing his fees on me by way of browsing this topic in my post), feroze, shuv, kaushik, scout -- will have an access to my blog. of course, i will be giving this right to others as well whom i consider to be as close as these fantastic five. and no one else. that's it.

Shuv said...

highly honoured my dear ghetu.