Thursday, August 16, 2007

help!

I had a wonderful realization today. I realized, for the first time, that God cannot probably give you anything even if you pray fervently. You get what is destined. And surely even the creator is bound by his own rule of creations. A man’s life is not a blog that you write and delete when you want. No, it’s a defined path where the fruit falls in when it’s ripe and the time correct. It’s all pre-destined. God simply cannot break his own rule and give you what you want. A small change made for you would create a domino effect that would destabilize the entire creation. No, that can’t be allowed. And I have no objection to that.

I realized that God is just like your mother. She loves you. But probably cannot control anything in your life. You know if anything in this world is real and true to you, that’s the love of your mother. I would add the Almighty in it. He is simply a simple Man who watches helplessly what you do and still would smile at you. And I love Him all the more for that.

But then here is my question. I would illustrate an example before that.

Quite some time ago, I proposed a girl. I liked her a lot. She gently refused my offer. End of story. And I would also forget her very soon as I have this wonderful mechanism in my character by which I delete unwanted memories very easily. I close the chamber of emotions. I almost can become robot after that. I start thinking in one direction and don’t let any kind of emotion stir my mind. I become blank and brick-headed. And then after some time when I let my chamber open up, I find the emotion has subsided and turned into dust. You have to just blow it off. Trust me, I have this unique ability. I practiced it from my childhood.

I was a pesky kid. Everyday I used to come home injured with blood oozing out. And trust me when the wound used to pain, I would decide for some time whether I would cry or keep mum. The logic was very simple. Everyday I cannot cry and shame myself, particularly when I was the captain of our football team. That is too embarrassing as a leader.

If I decided to keep mum, no amount of blood would make me shed even a single drop of tear. It was unnatural, against all science, for a kid.

And when I decided to cry, I used to draw the living crap out of every soul in my neighborhood. I would cry till I was tired and fall asleep. Sometimes for hours.

The habit didn’t leave me till date. Add to it I have added one more specialty. I can laugh and make fun and frolic, when I am extremely emotional.

So, forgetting the girl is not a big deal for me. I know, I love her. I haven’t liked anybody for quite some years and decided not to fall in love again after my last harrowing experience. But this girl swept my feet and shook all my inhibitions. But I will forget her soon. I know, I will.

After this incident, this question popped into my mind. Why do we crave for things that are NOT destined for us? Why is this mechanism in nature and in God’s rule-book? What is the need for it? Why we should crave for things that are not ours to get? Why? WHY?

Would anybody care to explain? I didn’t get the answer myself. I would really remain grateful if anybody cares to make me understand this.

44 comments:

Ace of Spades said...

we always want that which we cannot get, just like you cant get an answer to the question you asked - Why do we want that which we are not destined for?
you are not destined for an answer on that question either. sorry ghetu!

Vincent said...

I'm extracting an answer from the content of your post. It is all a question of timing. There is a way for every prayer to be answered.

In a film which remained favourite in my memory since I saw it in 1962 till I saw it again this year (and preferred my memory to the actual thing) the hero sits on the edge of a cliff with a girl, sings and plays on his guitar to make the sun rise. A perfect example of timing.

It is part of destiny that we want what we don't get, but the true prayer which is always answered is the prayer that God puts into us at the right moment. (that is what's called the prayer from the heart.)

Then God inspires us to ask for the great gift which he is about to give us.

Your tale of coming into the house with wounds and mostly being brave but sometimes exploiting your tears, shows that you are a potentially a master of timing.

Timing requires waiting.

Another thing: the answering of prayers doesn't exactly require any belief in God, whether one, many or none. Prayer and its answering is a universal phenomenon.

Tell me please: what are inhabitations, and how are they shaken?

rip van winkle said...

dear ghetu...have u ever noticed a child..?whatever u give him..how, he always wants something else.... something that his friend has..

..unfortnately human mind is like a child...it has not yet evolved fully...if you let it be your master then you r bound to b taken over by various childishness...desire to control everything is definitely one of them...

..it is said that the human mind functions like a pendulum...from one extreme to the other extreme....
..i see it happenning with u.. more than once.. in your post..

but..its real nice to see that.. for once.. your 'wonderful mechanism' has failed so drastically....u not only remember the girl..u hv actually dedicated a post on her..!!

..strategies dont work in the matters of the heart..i guess.

dear ghetu..if u r looking for 'help'....forget it.
...how can someone else take u out of a maze which u hv so carefully designed...for yourself!...that too from such an early age..

..just watch your mind bro..see the games it plays with u...u will not need any answers...coz..u'll no more have any questions...

Nautilus said...

Ghetubabu - ki holo...eto angst keno?? :-)

Anyway, I wish I could give some coherent answer to your questions...but honestly I can't! I'm fighting my own battle with God you see :-) The day he answers my questions, I'll ask him yours...

Ghetufool said...

ace,
that's nota nice answer.

Ghetufool said...

vincent,
you mean God conspires against us to be God? is He a trickster?

Ghetufool said...

rip,
you also cleverly and sub consciously avoided my question. in short, you failed to answermy question. but agreed, i actually dedicated a poston that girl. strange.

as a panacea, your last paragraph can be good. i should justwait and see my mind owrking, the games it plays.

Ghetufool said...

nautilus,
i read your post and found out your angst is morethan mine :] my sympathies.

rip van winkle said...

dear ghetu...i've not avoided your question by choice...
..unfortunately, i can only show you a fountain when you r thirsty...how can i quench your thirst by drinking the water for u..?

...anybody who tries to give you a solution on this would be fooling with you....
..just as you hv fooled with yourself for soooo long bro...

..just try to be a witness of your own mind and ull realise in no time.....we hv immature minds..thats why we remain entangled in so many questions...just like a child.

.. you think, because you dont know...once you know the thinking stops.

..do u ever 'think' who your mother is?..u know...but an orphan might..

...you dont need any answers bro..coz every answer will give rise to thousand other questions...

..all u need is a little understanding..of your own mind..

Ghetufool said...

dear rip,

agreed. i should try to understand things before i ask a question to myself.

yours is a clever and most trusted way to heal a bruise. leave it unattended if it's minor and nature would take care. it will heal itself. it's like homeopathy. you treat the signals rather than the disease.

Ghetufool said...

and BTW, i haven't fooled myself with my practice. it was initially a gam to me when i was a kid. now it's an habit. it's not foling in any case. i still practice it religiously.

Scout said...

well i have three comments to make...

1. the analogy about a man's life not being a blog is brilliant (especially for us bloggers i think)

2. you are spot on about the mother's love thing

3. why do we crave for things we are not destined for... this is a simple one. the problem is with ur assumption that desire and reality are linked. they are not!! :) we want things we may not get because... we're human and therefore eternally hopeful. its the same thing as not wanting to die - every instinct of ours shields us from death. why? wouldn't it be simple to just die and leave all the problems and pleasures behind?? but i guess my question answered itself...
i guess i spoke too much :)

Ghetufool said...

well scout,
you stand the chance to lift the cup. best so far. i swear.

rip van winkle said...

but...desire and reality are linked..!!

..if u desire to marry yr girlfriend today..and after a year u actually marry her...your desire definitely becomes a reality...its same about a car or a huge mansion on the beach with a sea view ..

..'ambition'..is the factor which has always been a link between desire and reality..

..the problem is u'll never know which desire is going to b a reality and which is going to leave u pining for the rest of your life...!

..extremely few people on this earth have managed to escape this vicious circle...how can the problem be simple..!!


..i also completely disagree with your notion regarding 'mother's love'....but lets not get into that here...
..just fyi, the root of 90% psychological disorders in a person have been traced down to the mother..
..sorry if i hurt yr feelings bro..

Shuv said...

yr ques was: Why do we crave for things that are NOT destined for us

my ans: that's a crock full of shit. there is nothing 'destined' for anyone..u get what u deserve thru yr actions and by what u are. if u dont get it, u were not suitable for it. if this gal gave u the boot, maybe its because u were not her type..so where does destiny come into the picture?

Ghetufool said...

dear shuv,
what right you have to remind me that this is also a classic case of KLPD?

Ghetufool said...

rip,
a few days back i saw the psycho and now i have to agree with you.

and this time the point is well taken and noted down.

Ghetufool said...

vincent,
i corrected. thanks!

Anonymous said...

That which is destined for us is our truth,
Its like looking at the mirror...no illusions whatsoever.Do we all always seem happy
That which we desire is our inner most desire.."craving" maybe too strong a word.Sort of leaves us constantly dissatisfied.. don't u think?
Not sure why that happens...could be the adventure in us or could be the ego in us...

Shuv said...

KLPD is good..keeps the L ready for more K-s.

Ghetufool said...

anon,
adventure, ego? how that is linked with desire?

Sayantani said...

have u seen "bruce almighty"? please do.

Scout said...

LOL @ shuv.

Scout said...

LOL @ shuv.

rip van winkle said...

dear ghetu..did u get yr answer..or have you forgotten the question..?..
..thats a good sign though..

Anonymous said...

did you really want an answer...

kaushik said...

Ghetu: I didnt read your last post and didnt read this one. I will as and when I have some sanity back. Meanwhile Rip is really making good progress switching between IDs.

kaushik said...

What is KLPD??

Anonymous said...

Hello Ghetu ...
Quoting from Buddism....The ego and desire are like the two sides of a coin — one cannot exist without the other. The ego is projected desire, and desire is projected ego. It is like pedalling a bicycle: if we go on pedalling, the bicycle goes on moving; but if we stop pedalling the bicycle will start slowing down and eventually collapse. The more we go on generating desire the ego seems very real.

rip van winkle said...

dear kaushik...this anon is definitely NOT me...

bcoz i dont belive in the existence of ego...it cannot be defined individually..

dear anon...
how can u define darkness..?...its the absence of light...u hv to introduce the concept of light to define darkness..it does not exist on its own..

can u define cold..?...its the absence of heat...

can u define silence..?..again..its the absence of sound..

..ego cannot be defined on its own... it is the absence of awareness...understanding.

.. it is impossible to throw away darkness or a shadow from a room...u will need to introduce light..

similarly its impossible to throw away your ego individually...u have to introduce
understanding and the ego vanishes on its on..

..like the shadow which disappears in the presence of light...

so..stop fighting with your ego..and just try to understand its functioning...

rip van winkle said...

dear anon..one question..how does your 'cycle' reach to your destination if u stop pedalling..?



dear kaushik... apologize to others...u made me write all this!

Anonymous said...

sometimes you have to slow down and take stock of the situation...may be u are already there...may be if you give it time the destination will come to you...or you might realise that the destination you were seeking is not right anymore...may be you want to change directions...too many possibilities...

but Rip, i dont understand one thing u say ego is the absence of awareness...understanding...if you do not mind please elaborate on this a little. What u seem to be saying is that a person who understands the workings of ego, is unlikely to have one?

rip van winkle said...

dear anon..isnt it how the whole psychiatry thing works..?..just understanding the 'source' of a problem could to make it disappear..

dear anon its beautiful how...in the last moments of his life Socrates said..'i know only one thing and that is... i know nothing..!

Ravindranath tagore once said...'my whole life went away just on preparation..i could not even start what i actually wanted to say...!

Albert einstein has been heard saying more than once to his class..'please slow down i'm weak in maths'..!!

and these r people who have shown light to millions of people on earth..!...where did the ego go??

its not surprising that only mediocre people are a victim of the ego. the 'truly' wise men are never effected by it.

..they understand its causes,its destructive character and are able to transcend it on their own...

an egoless human is going to be the most beautiful creature on earth..but it remains almost a hypothetical situation..well ..almost.

Ghetufool said...

sayantani,
no i haven't seen bruce almighty. would you kindly care to tell me why it is a must see?

Rip,
i didn't get the answer precisely as i wanted it, but taking cue from all the comments here, i have some fair idea now.

anon,
i really wanted an answer. you think i am joking here or what?

Ghetufool said...

kaushik-da,
KLPD janona? ask shuv.

anon and rip,
please continue. i am enjoying it. and i am sure others as well. getting to know many things that otherwise would have been left unknown.

and anon,
i must tell you, i don't believe in destination coming to your path. but yes, you might be right. i have seen this happening. but that's just not in my character. i don't like people who are too pricey. i am a simple man who expect the equal amount of simplicity from the people with whom he interacts.

but i appreciate your comments. as i said, i am enjoying it.

Anonymous said...

Dear Rip, but tell me something, and I am not talking about the great people you have referred to, for a common man who understands the workings of an ego, couldn't this knowledge be the source of an unprecedented ego...for he might be the one of the very few, if at all, who know this...You might say that a man who knows something as profound as this cannot be a common man, but that would mean that people like you and me do not stand a chance.

Do you not think, that a world with egoless humans would be a rather dull place to live in. It takes all kinds of people to make this world perfect...and anyways greatness is relative, so is mediocrity.

rip van winkle said...

dear anon...if you r among a room full of sick people and you r the only person to know the medicine...would u stay happy and hyped just by the knowledge of the medicine or would u take it to solve your illness..?

..anybody who has found out the remedy from the ego is bound to use it to transcend the ego..

there is still hope for all of us...although we hv come a long
way...on the other direction...

its high time we become aware of the games the mind plays with us..

..dear bro to make a complete picture of the world even mad
people are required...would u like to be mad..?

dear anon ..let us both thank ghetu for expressing such exceptional tolerence towards both of us...
the rarity of this gesture makes it all the more noteworthy...

Ghetufool said...

ghetu is actually thankful to you both.

Vikas said...

Ghetu bahut bhari bhari post likhta hai yaar. shuv has put it perfectly and his reason for KLPD being good is genius.

Ghetufool said...

shuv is always a genius. who would challenge that?

Ace of Spades said...

40 comments? i dont't keep track but i'm pretty sure that should be some sort of a record!!!

Shuv said...

my god!! as if one RIP wasnt enuff in the blogosphere!! or has rip finally gone insane and is typing to himself?

rip van winkle said...

hey shuv!!..u r alive! missed u baby...its sooo nice to hear from u..

Kasturi Chaudhury said...

:) v crave fr some nonsense all r lives n in d process v frgt to praise whtevr v have..
v have d capability to lv sm1 and at d same tym to propse nd at the same tym hv courge to frgt dt prsn if at all they refuse to lv us back :)
v r strong!
bt still v crave thinking cntinuously m i dt bad,ppl dnt lv me bck?
n in dt prcess v cntinuously lose d fct dt v r strnge enuf to fall in love once again!
dts y v r human :)

nice piece.
Take care