Wednesday, September 14, 2011

goodluck and goodbye, mate!

looking at my life has convinced me that all my life i have cared for everyone but myself and almost all the time i have cared for people who did not deserve my attention in the first place. and worse of all, i also expected that i be showered with the same attention i bestowed upon them and got hurt when it didn't happen. so much for expectations!

but there is then this fundamental question why we really shower attention. is it something deep within ourselves that tell us that the first step should be by us because we want that other person to have a step forward to us? may be so. but then what do you do when the other person does not even acknowledge you exist? two ways, you sulk, try to sweeten the deal like an old lover refusing to come in terms that it's over. or, you just say fuck off., enough is enough, i can see those flesh and bones and that dirt on your dress to convince myself that you are no special shake. may be i have cheapened myself considerably and please you should know i also exist in a space that is bit high for you to touch. i came down from my loft to touch your face and say, hello. now that you didn't really care, i pull back myself to a level where you cannot touch me, cause i have a level of my own and oh yeah, i have my arrogance too!

but then, i put myself in the same shoes of people who did not catch my extended hands. it's true that i myself have ignored many. it's true that i repented later on some of the cases too. but then, why should i be friends with anyone and everyone who wants to be my friends? so that's fine. together we play this game of friendship or indifference and then one day we find our own cosy corner and fade away from each others lives without any trace of anything that happened anytime in the past. heartburns, disappointments be forgotten, they do fade away. only joys remain. i think there lies the triumph of human lives.

so yeah, ignore me if you must, i still will think good for your life, mate!


Shuv said...

which hapless mate is it this time?

Vincent said...

Well, I'm sorry, I was going to acknowledge that you exist, but then I forgot. Plus you are a bit too high for me.

Not that I really think you are referring to me.

Vincent said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WonderWall said...

lolz your posts say my story... OMG!! truly me!!


mpreeti said...

been a long time since i dropped by and reading this post, was an aha moment. it hurts, it bewilders but than the indifference sets in before the cycle starts again!! and in the midst of all this, like you say lies the triumph of human lives, and faith that mayhap this time will be different.

Vincent said...
This comment has been removed by the author.