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happy new year my friends.

i am writing something just not to miss the opportunity to wish you all. even though, i am not very inclined to write anything these days. it's not that i have dried up or that i don't feel the urge to write something, but somehow i am not able to pull myself to write something here. so i thought i must grab this opportunity and fill something on my blog.

so, what's your resolution this time? i don't have any resolution, for either i have become too matured (read cynical) or i have realised the futility of new year resolutions. just a small 'thank you' to all of you for giving that emotional support throughtout the last year, actually ever since i started this blog.

as we all know 2008 was an eventful year. india and pakistan was almost there in the warfront (or was that only for the public?). i almost decided to go and live in pakistan, honestly.

i will tell you the reason. see, pakistan is so fond of flaunting its nuclear arsenal, i won't be surprised if they would use it at the first chance. and guess where it would fall first ... yes, in mumbai, right beneath my arse.

so why do you think i planned to leave for pakistan? well, i am pretty sure our 70-year olds will never use nuke. the whole world knows that, including condo rice and hu, not to mention asif, ali and zardari. so, i was just thinking, the only way to be safe during the war is pakistan. and guess what, i would just take my one month's salary in indian rupee to the country, i am sure, the pak's economy would be so fucked up after the war that they would need some hard currency. you must be thinking why indian rupee when dollar is there? well, i don't want to call my friends fools here for i know you are all intelligent creatures. just to correct your thinking ... united states gives them f-16s and sting missiles ... not dollar, ask condo if you don't believe me. now remained what? renminbi? the currency is so undervalued that it won't fetch a parle g packet.

of course, i will get truck full of pakistani rupee in exchange of my one month's indian rupee.

in fact, i have shortlisted some houses for me in islamabad. in fact, when i discovered that most of the places shortlisted are actually hotels, i promptly rejected them, for the country's cave dwellers are fond of hotels these days and as per the tradition, when they leave they blow their abode up. i lovedd mush's mansion though. how much he would charge me for it? half my salary? ummm ... hard deal.

how would i go to pakistan now? why? by boat of course. i will sail my way to karachi listening to my ipod -- thee greatest invention by the us of a.

anyway, please come to see me, i assure you a royal treat.

but of course, it all depends on when the war would start. i am waiting.

meanwhile, have a BLAST!

Comments

Anonymous said…
good one dude :)
Vincent said…
If you are quite determined to be ever more exiled from your native land, why not come and live in my street? Your neighbours - your landlord even - can be your beloved Pakistanis (or Kashmiris) and though they doubtless lack the nuclear capability you crave, you will be equally well-protected, for some of them may be the parents of terrorists so you won't be targeted.

Then it will be much easier for me to have the royal treat of visiting you.
Ace of Spades said…
i know this may not go down well with a lot of people, but i strongly believe that though all terrorists may turn out to be pakistanis, all pakistanis are not terrorists.
i however agree that all of them are a bunch of pig-headed lying morons, but so what? we have a whole bunch of them masquerading as politicians here as well.
Vincent said…
Ace, you agree with whom that "all of them are a bunch of pig-headed lying morons"? Nothing that Ghetu or I have said above expresses the merest hint of any racism.
ghetufool said…
My dear Ace,

Anon has taken the spirit of the post better than you. For it was a badly, impromptu written humor (at least that was the wish) piece and things ought to be taken in that spirit. No need for you to agree or disagree with anything. Vincent can be anything but racist, for these are the excerpts of his two mails to me describing his neighbours. We are thick friends and jointly working on a project.

“Our Pakistani/Kashmiri neigbours (I only know they are Muslims) are most friendly & pleasant. I much prefer them to white people, in general.” (9/19/07)

“My Muslim neighbour brought us a Christmas card and a bottle of wine, sweet of him. We help one another a lot. I said I felt like kissing him, whilst in full confidence that he wouldn't take me up on it. He's born in this country, so very used to English forms of crazy talk.” (12/24/08)

If you mean I am racist, you are bang on, I still believe you Goans cannot make as good fish curry as we Bengalis. Also I strongly believe Mohun Bagan is perfectly capable of awarding a dozen goals to your rickety Dempo 11. But then, my racism starts and ends there, but in that range I am fierce.

Dear Vincent,
No need to argue with Ace. He is the sweetest headstrong I have ever seen in my life. He is my old friend and despite being a catholic by birth, he preferred to spend his Christmas here with us friends in Mumbai, in fact, he came from Bangalore to spend time with us. If you have any grievances towards him please let me know, I will keep his head drowned in a bucket of water for five minutes. That would be enough for this pig-head moron to stop groaning and snorting.

As for both of you … one more fuck up and I will delete the post. Sorry if the comments get deleted too. It’s my post, I have the liberty to delete it, cant help if you can’t protect your comments.

Om Shanti!
Vincent said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vincent said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
ghetufool said…
dear vincent,
thanks for inviting to your street. i look forward to live there during summers. winter won't be a good idea, what say you?
i didn't understand your second comment so ignoring it. you know my english is pure and surely not fine enough to understand your sophisticated language. but assuming it also means something positive like your last, i thank you.
ghetufool said…
dear vincent,
thanks for inviting to your street. i look forward to live there during summers. winter won't be a good idea, what say you?
i didn't understand your second comment so ignoring it. you know my english is pure and surely not fine enough to understand your sophisticated language. but assuming it also means something positive like your last, i thank you.
Vincent said…
Indeed, good idea, ignore my comments as much as possible and assume they are positive in tone, as this one is meant to be ...
Chaila Bihari said…
Khali Pakistaner opor rag kore ki hobe? Gota duniyari waat lege ache.
Eto rag koro na. Tomar flavourta tahole thake na. Tar che borong ekta purono golpo phando... Budge Budger golpo
KEYWORDS: Maheshtala, Kachuripana, nalen gur, cambis bole cricket, cycle chepe coaching.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Keep the faith.
Love and Peace
Puncoscho: Amio amar bloge kichu likhi na. HNY wish korlam bote, kintu oi porjontoi. Tumi kichu lekho, bar kheye jodi amio lege pori
Ace of Spades said…
whoa! whoa! a couple of days i dint visit the post and talks of racism and what-nots.
all right, maybe i was a bit fired up at that time, so in the spirit of the blog (and in fear of my head being dumped in a bucket of water), i clarify that all i meant was "welcome back to writing" - at least on this blog :)
Vincent said…
Ace/Ghetu: I have deleted 2 of my more confusing comments. Probably a bad thing to do but too late now anyway.
ghetufool said…
chaila,
budge budge! bhalo kotha bolecho. likhchi, darao.
ghetufool said…
vincent,
i didn't understand the logic, why you had to delete it. anyway.

ace,
i think we understand you. happy new year mate.
Miracle said…
all i want to say here is Happy New Year...don't intend to be pulled into any racism bit. Although, i can safely and assuredly say that ghetu's racism doesn't end with bengalis and goans...it is far worsely ingrained...
ghetufool said…
miracle,
do i know you?
media concepts said…
With our new President Barack Obama, I think the U.S. attitude toward Pakistan will be quite different. George Bush loved dictators, except the one who threatened his daddy. He gave billions of dollars to Musharraf to use against the terrorists, but instead Musharraf used it to gear up for war against your country. All the while, neither Bush nor Musharraf did anything to thwart the Al Qaeda and other terrorists who took safe haven in Pakistan.

I think Obama's attitude is going to be very, very different. So if you decide to move to Pakistan, best of luck to you.
ghetufool said…
mediaconcept,
extremely sorry for not replying so long, i was not in a mood to visit my blog, though i have seen your comments.

is obama really a panacea to all your or the world's problem? we will see more. read something like his popularity has dipped a bit in your country? having said that i still think democrats have some humanatarian elements in them. i might be totally wrong though. congrats on your new president. hope the world will be a bit better now.

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