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i am very tired. exhausted.

i need a woman in my life. need some love, i seriously do.

no mom, it's not a message for you. don't get excited. no, i am not talking about marriage.

but i am in need of love. i want to love and be loved in return.

i am very tired. exhausted.

second thought:
i want to return to my family in calcutta. mom and dad and sis and bro...i want to return to you all. 

mom, would you be less proud of me if i leave this glamorous multinational and settle for a shabby, red-tapped indian office in stagnant calcutta? would you think i wasted my entire career if i earn half of what i am getting here? would you love me less for that? would your concerns for me would halve too?

dad, would you again start thinking that i am useless.

but don't you see how deathly pale i am now? don't you know your son will die if he doesn't get some warmth from you? don't you know everyday i return home with a hole in my heart. tell you a secret...it's getting bigger and bigger.

mom, i want to come back. i am bleeding everyday. i am choking. i want to come back to you. i want you to touch me again and put me to sleep just as you always did.

i want to come back. please don't force me to stay away for the sake of career. i know what career is. it's devil's lovely instrument to take people away from god. it's devil's plot to deprive mortals of everything nice that god created.  

do you know how it feels like to face the world and listen the chin-music but getting nobody to heal the wound. you feel bloody damn cheated. yes, cheated. the wound doesn't pain. it gets numb. you feel cheated and abondoned by everybody. even by god.  


trust me...this cold heart needs some warmth. i need some love mom. i really do.

i am very tired. exhausted.

Comments

gypsy said…
nothing ever holds us back except our own limitations ghetu..think about that! [:)]
Shuv said…
AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! shades of my favourite lyricist..almost involuntarily started humming 'Mother do you think they'll like the song'...gr8 post ghetu!

about the subject: lets chat tonite.
preeti said…
home is where the heart is ghetu. maybe it will take you four years instead of two to buy your bike, your house and jewellery for your pretty wife.
but follow your heart ghetu, always....
kaushik said…
Come to Hyd...
Scout said…
let's hope you find that elusive love in cal.
Sophia said…
You are not useless.

You are loved. I had to have someone remind me of that today, too, but when I remember that I am loved, even more deeply than human love, which is nice too, I feel content.
Calcutta is now Kolkata. Let's hope love for u in Kolkata.
kaushik said…
Ghetu: I will be waiting for your call today. Both of us should celebrate it as our day of freedomlessness.

And as for your returning to Kolkata.

You can find love anywhere you go. I dont think you pine to return to Kolkata for love but for the familiarity that it brings around you. That comfort zone thing.

I often want to go back to 'HOME'. But Shuv pointed out the other day "What is HOME?". I wish I can write about it.
Sayantani said…
aaaah! there's enough red tapism in this office ghetu, don't you think? i daresay you'll be very happy in Cal.
Ghetufool said…
thanks for the support everybody. i see that you have fallen for my lies.


shuv & bi, welcome to my blog. keep coming please.
Devidutta said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shuv said…
eh?
Ghetufool said…
ok. it should be sophia and bi. and shuv, you are not welcomed. yu are ordered.
kaushik said…
Ghetu: Can you stay away from gaffes when you emotional. You have my number? Right?
Vikas said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
20 box said…
Grow strong my comrade... that you may stand
Unshaken when I fall; that I may know
The shattered fragments of my song will come
At last to finer melody in you;
That I tell my heart that you begin
Where passing I leave off, and fathom more.

-Will Durant to his wife.
Ghetufool said…
20 box...i am exactly not married. comradeless actually.
Sayantani said…
I was bruised and battered and I couldnt tell
What I felt
I was unrecognizable to myself
I saw my reflection in a window I didnt know
My own face
Oh brother are you gonna leave me
Wastin´away
On the streets of philadelphia

I walked the avenue till my legs felt like stone
I heard the voices of friends vanished and gone
At night I could hear the blood in my veins
Black and whispering as the rain
On the streets of philadelphia

Aint no angel gonna greet me
Its just you and I my friend
My clothes dont fit me no more
I walked a thousand miles
Just to slip the skin

The night has fallen, I'm lyin awake
I can feel myself fading away
So receive me brother with your faithless kiss
Or will we leave each other alone like this
On the streets of philadelphia


~
Bruce Springsteen
Rahul said…
To Ghentu: When you search for freedom and having enjoyed it fullest...one become freedomless! We all want to return back - TO HOME, TO THE SWEETEST ENCLOSURE OF MOTHERLY COMFORT. In search of cage.

Bhai, chol bari jai!
Whatever u were searching did u gt that?
atleast the "Woman love" ?

:)
:P
;)

enjoyed this too :D

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