Monday, September 18, 2006

Bony

My dog Bony passed away today.

I thought I am immune to sorrow. Nothing stirs me, I thought. But I never thought the death of a four-legged creature would stir me so much. After nearly ten years and many sorrow-traps that I have successfully evaded, I cried today. I almost forgot what tears are. I started thinking tears are for girls and children. But I cried today. i have lost my best friend in the world.

I remember the first day when I brought Bony from Majumdar uncle’s house. Bony’s mother, knowing we are taking her child, as she had experienced earlier, was sitting in the corner…looking at us. Almost begging, don’t take my kid.

Animals have such a strong communication skills. They can convey anything and everything with their eyes. You should be sensitive enough to understand that.

My sister was sensitive, I was sensitive. Sister started crying…almost refused to take the little white puppy, with a hint of grey, with her. I consoled her. We pretended that we didn’t see the mother. We robbed Bony from her mother. Our greatest crime to him.

Bony grew out to be a peppy, sporty beautiful Spitz. Upto six months, he was very close to my mother. After six months, he became an ardent follower of me and a cohort to my all adventures, I was in class eleven then, a guy of seventeen-eighteen.

Bony was fond of music. Whenever I used to play some music, particularly if it was an instrumental, Bony used to enter the room and stretch himself to the floor. I don’t know if only humans can smile or not, but by the curve of his muzzle…you could easily tell this dog was enjoying the music. Relaxed, he used to shut his eyes.

Bony loved me, I loved him too. But the difference was that his was the pure one, without any expectation. Just to see me when I return from the college and jump on to my lap and getting a peck or pat was perhaps his greatest joy in life. As for me, I loved him, only because he made me feel special.

That I was a selfish scoundrel, a self-obsessed narcissus was evident to me when I kicked that small, defenceless creature with full might. Not satisfied, I beat him with a ruler and made him lame for three days.

He bite me when I was trying to make him swallow a bitter pill that was to him nothing but a punishment for no sin. He was aware of his guilt, whenever he used to commit some folly, he used to hide under the bed. He used to remain there for a long time and only used to move or stir, when we used to pretend we have seen a cat in the house.

Since I was doing good to him, that he didn’t realize, I beat his life out. He cried, he howled, he couldn’t sleep all the night out of sheer pain…but in the morning when I woke up, he didn’t forget to greet me. He didn’t forget to lick my feet…limping.

You were such a great friend Bony. Last time when I went home…you conveyed to me with your eyes, that I won’t see you next time (that I have written here). Five days left to go home now Bony. How true you were.

If there is an after life dear, come again to me. May be, this time I will be able to show some respect to your unflinching love and loyalty. May be, I could show you how much I loved you. May be that time I could show you, how guilty I feel now for all the atrocities I did to you and how ashamed I am that you forgave me everytime.

May God rest your soul in peace Bony. I love you. You made me cry today…YOU!

9 comments:

Nautilus said...

You'll never get over him, but eventually you'll learn to live without him.

I still cry for my four-legged baby even though its been fifteen years since she left me...

Anonymous said...

It sucks.....Pain is deep......I wonder someday I too will lie motionless somewhere........and then people will say he was a good chap..........how useless.....Have no words to sympathize.....pain is silent.....

Shuv said...

brought back memories of that horrible day the same thing happened to me. have no words for consolation.

Scout said...

It's funny how these things tend to affect one.. I thought I was pretty heartless when our dog in Srinagar, with whom I had minimal contact, died. I was very upset, and surprised at myself.

Ghetufool said...

nautilus,
i understand that.

rakesh-sir,
you made me sir, i am sure there will lot lot of people who will be genuinely sad when a good man like you pass away.

shuv,
thanks for sympethising.

scout,
you are supposed to be sad, at least they are the one who loves you unconditionaly.

M (tread softly upon) said...

I'm sorry. First because your pain is evident and second because I love dogs. And lastly because i have been through the exact same emtions a few years back. I know what it feels like. I hope Bony's soul rests in peace.

Anonymous said...

Missing you day in and day out. Looking forward to c u back in bangalore at the earliest. Enjoy Maddi

rama said...

By chance, pets come into homes, where for some reason people do not make their emotions, affections and feelings explicit, and enable the faculty of love to remain alice and be expressed and fed. A force of love chose to come into your family, and when the work was done, departed. A blessing! Eternal play in the happy hunting grounds for your dear friend!

Best

rama

Ghetufool said...

rama,
i am deeply touched. thanks.