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Showing posts from January, 2006

First Flight

The art of balancing oneself is perhaps the most difficult thing in a human’s life. I don’t remember the days when I took the first giant step independently, but I still remember the days I balanced myself in a bicycle.

All bruised, bloodied, I still remember the joys of paddling my cycle and wondering how the whole world is passing besides me, saluting me…hey this boy has grown up, take notice of him…he is not a kid anymore…salute, salute.

The dogs I used to feed biscuits (stolen from the kitchen) everyday, sprang up from their lazy naps. They were undecided on whether to bark or not in this unusual scene. I zoomed past my cycle from the busy hens pecking dusty grains, they started a cacophonous complaint as a new trouble has strike them from the heaven.

I felt proud to be the master of this universe. I was a HE-MAN, wearing half-pant and vest, my sweats drying fast in the cold morning air.

I got a foothold, a mould, and descended respectfully. I turned my bicycle and saw, the whole wor…

Eligible bachelor needs a girl

That day I proposed a girl. She refused me saying I am like her brother.
Than again I proposed another girl, she said I look like a cobbler…I didn’t go further.
Than again I proposed a girl, she said she is suffering from aids. Ups…fishing in troubled water.
Than again I proposed a girl, she smiled and said she is single. I said great. Got the green signal. Got the go ahead. Fixed the date, venue, menu and figured out secretly items of panu (for beginners).
She came with a baby. Said, that bastard is her bundle of joy. Flight of fantasy. Chucked the idea, ran for life.
Than again proposed a girl. This time half-minded. The idea was to have fun. I was fed up exercising alone. Needed a change.
She consented to go with me. Venue mine, menu mine, idea mine, all panu party.
Went behind a bamboo bush. Had some frooty and Britannia biscuit. Played with her hands, hairs, lips…reached for the blouse. Touched something paperish. What’s this? I exclaimed?
“rate card” she said. Your bill still now is…Rs.…
My sister asked for my blog link yesterday. i gave her. Immediately it got distributed to her friends.

From now onwards my brother will also read it. Hmmm...so from now onwards, no panu...no nothing.

Only vegetarian dishes with no spice in it. Will have to delete all the explosive stuffs. i am a good boy. Rebirth of Ghetufool.

Humanity

Morning I saw mass slaughtering. Goats were sacrificed in the occasion of Bakri Eid.

I have no objection in butchering. After all biryani is next to heaven. But what moved me was the helpless cries of the goats.

They were watching their mates dragged or carried away and their throats slit. Worst still it was all happening in front of their eyes. The animal was skinned just in front of them. oh, will never forget how their eyes were fixed on their freshly butchered friend’s body, hanging from a clip. They were not looking anywhere else. Their eyes moist with tears, I could realize they were crying in their broken voice. The youngest of them was literally shivering. They were desperately crying for somebody to rescue them. All these sacrificial animals are darn intelligent.

Some boys were trying to drag their horns. They were obliged to follow them, but their eyes…their eyes were fixed on the hanging bodies. They were crying…oh…they were crying like a baby.

I understand sacrifice is necessa…

Birthday special

Third January was my birthday. Nothing special to the mankind. Special to me…nah, I don’t think so.

My sister called me up, my mother called me up, my brother called me up, some of my relatives called me up and wished me. My father called me up and scolded me for squandering my money like a fool.
My insurance agent called me up and wished me and added how vital this time is for me to start a new policy.

Planet M wished me via email and extended an offer to buy anything from the store and get a 10 percent discount…specially to celebrate my birthday, Titan industries wished me via email and stated how a particular range of watches would suite me in this vital year of mine. Citizen was ecstatic on their birthday wish mail to me and said, they expect a long-term relationship with me and how timely they are to wish me first…their new range of chronographs are exactly like me…elegant and timeless.

The father-in-law of my cousin, who has dedicated his entire retired life for match-making, called…

Personal column

I was fed up with my work environment. It was impossible.

What you would feel if you would have been in my place? A twenty-five year-old hunk helplessly watching his well-into-fifties news editor wooing all the girls in the office. Damn…

Frankly, I didn’t give a damn, let him be. But I was in my wit’s end when I saw that monkey of a character wooing my prospective would be wife, the would be mother of my prospective bundles of joys. Damn…

Its then that I decided to cut short this retiring don-juan’s antics.

After I joined this newspaper, I had pinpointed kamalika as my wife. It didn’t matter that she once told me (jokingly…she was not serious) that I looked like a toad and that kiwi-shoe polish has a colour dedicated to me…the most used one.

But I didn’t lose my courage. My mind is one-track. If I have decided that I am going to be the father of kamalika’s children, than that would be done.

That monkey of a news editor had that habit of hugging girls without any notice… “oh mandakini you ha…